


No-one else knows.

by Trevaaa



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, How Do I Tag, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, anything bad in the mcu? gone, i don't think this is compliant with any MCU movie so like..., i want fluff goddamit, just ignore it, millenial trying to write Gen-Z, no beta I have no friends, oblivious everyone, vine references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:09:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24235573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trevaaa/pseuds/Trevaaa
Summary: Something about the way he specifically let his accent come through like he always did when he was trying to get Peter to do something (usually sex (no (yes) it never (always) worked)) set off a proverbial light-bulb in Peter’s brain.“Oh my god, Harls… I have the best idea.”AKAThis tumblr post: https://misscellophane-ao3.tumblr.com/post/616690741648998400/peter-and-harley-have-been-together-for-a-fewRated mature for very light smut.
Relationships: Harley Keener & Avengers Team, Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Avengers Team
Comments: 13
Kudos: 210





	1. Eye bleach and weird tortilla chip preferences.

**Author's Note:**

> *sips on milk*
> 
> based on this https://misscellophane-ao3.tumblr.com/post/616690741648998400/peter-and-harley-have-been-together-for-a-few
> 
> the fic is not fully written so I'm very sorry but I will probably not update it regularly. its also Not Good so yeah., keep your standards low. very light smut in the beginning.

The first time someone found out, it was honestly, completely, super-duper not lying, an accident.

* * *

Peter and Harley had a dilemma. Not enough of one that they had to tell anyone about it (that was kinda the opposite of the point) but enough that they were actually sitting down and talking about it… Or at least trying to.

“Mmhph- Harley- mphm- Har- stop!“ Peter wrenched his head back from Harley. “Stop kissing me!”

Peter had chosen to have this conversation in Peter’s bedroom at the compound, which meant sound-proofed rooms and privacy from nosing parents. So really it was his own fault since Harley was incapable of putting aside his sex drive when the opportunity was right there.

“But Peter…” Harley whined so fucking innocently, burying his head into the boy’s neck as he sucked a hickey at his collarbone. They were lying on Peter’s bed, Peter pinned under Harley while he assaulted his boyfriend’s neck. Harley ground down his hips, moaning at the friction from both of their jeans.

He whimpered, “Oh god Harls…” Biting his lip as he desperately tried to remember the reason why he was not supposed to be having sex right now. Which, give him some credit, was incredibly hard to do with Harley moving one of his hands down from where they were planted on either side of Peter's head to the superhero's belt. Something about telling Tony about his relationship with Harley… although, when Harley decided that this would be the best time to lift Peter’s shirt up and start kissing his chest and move down and down and- oh god, that conversation could wait. “Please don’t stop.”

Harley looked up at him and honest to god smirked. “Don’t worry sweetheart,” the Southern drawl dripping down Peter’s spine like syrup. “Haven’t got nothing better to do.” Fuck you, Harley. Just… fuck… him. Peter moaned as Harley slid his trousers and palmed Peter’s shaft, a bolt of pleasure ran up from Peter’s abdomen. Yes, please fuck him.

“-hey Pete, did you manage to fix the- OH GOD, MY EYES!”

It was at this moment that Peter realised he left the door open.

His eyes flew open (when did he close them?) shoving Harley off the bed in a desperate attempt to look like they were doing something… other than that, and pulled down his shirt and did up his zipper and- Jesus how did Harley manage to get his so undressed without him realising? Peter’s face was flaming by the time he looked reasonably (not at all) presentable.

“Thanks, old man. Really ruined the moment.” Harley was lying shirtless (he wasn’t even trying to find his shirt, please Harley put on a shirt ~~it’s distracting~~ ) on the floor from when Peter pushed him off, not even bothering to get up.

Tony just stood there, in the doorway, gaping like a fish.

“…you… what… Peter… Harley… what…” He visibly pulled himself together. “…so what the ever loving fuck did I just witness.”

* * *

And that was how Tony found out.

…And was sworn to secrecy, at least until they found out how to tell everyone. That brought them to where they currently where, brainstorming in Peter’s living room – actually it was just Peter brainstorming as he paced on the ceiling, while Harley ate Doritos on the couch but it was a team effort nonetheless.

“Why don’t we just, get this, tell them.” Harley said dryly, for the hundredth time.

“I told you why!” He replied, exasperated. “That’ll be awkward and weird and boring and no. What would we even say, ‘hey guys, I gathered all the Avengers, friends, and parental figures into this one room so that I could tell you that I’m dating Harley, ok that’s all have to say, have a nice day’, no. We are not doing that. I want it to be at least somewhat un-embarrassing. _And_ just telling people? That's boring.” He stopped pacing to glare at Harley, his stupid hair still obeying the laws of gravity like a dweeb. “We” he clapped his hands “Are” and again “Not” one more time “Boring.”

Harley muttered into this sweater mutinously, crunching a chip with extra moodiness. “I didn’t say we had to tell them all at once, we could just tell them individually.” Peter glared at him, hands falling down to his sides.

“Harley. Please take this seriously. You’re the first guy I’ve properly, properly dated and I don’t want to make things awkward with anyone when I see them.” Peter pouted. Harley sighed, regretfully placing his bag of Doritos on the coffee table.

“C’mere sweetheart.” He said softly, opening his arms. Peter jumped down from the ceiling and landed gracefully onto the couch before burrowing into Harley's arms like an adorable mouse. Harley planted a kiss on his curls. “No-one is gonna be awkward about it. We were best friends before and we still are and we still will be even if we break up- which we won’t if I have any say in it.” Peters lips quirked up. “The only difference is that we fuck now-“

“Harley!”

“It’s the truth, isn’t it?” Peter wisely did not say anything. “Anyway, things aren’t awkward between us and we’re the actual ones dating. It’s not gonna be awkward to anyone else.” Harley said all gentle-like, a fond smile creeping over his face. “If you’re really worried about telling everyone we can just shoot a text to everyone- separately!” He hastily added on before Peter could protest. He waited a moment for that to sink in before he continued on in an even softer tone, “Everyone loves you, even if I love you most of all, and no-one’ll judge you if you don’t want to tell them in person. You might get teased, but if you really didn’t like that you wouldn’t wear those god-awful science pun shirts.”

“Hey! Those are quality shirts.” Peter protested, his dimpled smile betraying him. He lifted his head off of his boyfriend’s chest and pecked him on the nose, before resting their foreheads together. It was nice. These moments of silence, all alone with no distractions, where they could just exist. Harley nuzzled his nose against Peter's with a soft smile.

“Can I have a real kiss?” He said, puckering his lips together

Peter grimaced. “But your mouth will sink of Dorito dust.” Harley raised his eyebrow, damn him and his impeccable control over his own facial hair.

“Ok, one, stink? I didn’t your tongue was a nose. Two, you’ve had much worse things in your mouth than a lil’ second hand spicy sweet chili. May I remind you of last night when you just loved- “

“Harley…” Peter groaned as he buried his blush into the sweater on Harley’s chest.

“What? Get your mind out the gutter. I was talking about those pickles in your grilled cheese last night.” Peter glared at him. He smiled innocently back.

“It was a grilled cheese of the God’s and your taste-buds are just too weak to handle that.” He huffed, sticking his nose in the air for the added affect. Harley rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, you say darlin’.” He said with a fond smile. “But I will bring up other things you’ve had in your mouth if I don’t get my-mmph.” Nose scrunched and with as little tongue as possible, Peter kissed him, desperately trying to ignore the Dorito flavour coating the inside of his mouth. Harley moved him into his lap and wrapped Peter's legs around his waist, trying to coerce him into a deeper kiss with a smile. Peter jerked back. 

“Ew.” He complained with a grimace, shooting his face as far away from Harley’s as their koala position allowed. He levelled a glare at the grinning boy he was wrapped around. “If that doesn’t show you how much I love you, I don’t know what will, you know I hate your weird tortilla chip preferences.” Harley smirked. He leant forward, puckering his lips as he neared Peter’s. And naturally (he really didn’t like spicy sweet chili Doritos okay) Peter leant back in desperation as he tried to avoid his doom… only to make them fall off the couch and land them on the wooden floor with Harley now straddling Peter. Harley grinned devilishly.

“I’m not sure about you, darlin’, but I think we’re in a pretty good position if ya’know what I mean.” He drawled. Something about the way he specifically let his accent come through like he always did when he was trying to get Peter to do something (usually sex) ( ~~yes~~ no it ~~always~~ never worked) set off a proverbial light-bulb in Peter’s brain.

“Oh my god, Harls… I have the best idea.”

And that, was how they decided to prank the Avengers (and their friends) (and May) (and Pepper).


	2. UPDATE.

This fic is discontinued, Trevor has died.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked chapter one! Next chapter will be... the next one... yeah. Idk i'll figure it out. all i know is I want Peter to say, "You've yeed your last haw". 
> 
> I'm not gen-z, alas, I am millenial so if the youth humour is not good then please tell me, my sister is very unhelpful and keeps t-posing me as I write this. She also said that she will nae nae me away if its terrible so some of that lovely constructive criticism (emphasis on constructive) would be much appreciated.
> 
> Have a day - trev.


End file.
